What's Propping You Up?

Take ten minutes and honestly examine your mental, emotional, spiritual, and yes, even your physical condition right now. In what area(s) do you feel strong and capable? In what areas do you feel weak and uncertain? (Don't worry, it's just us talking.) In the places where you feel weak but most show up, what's holding you up? While some battles or situations are tough enough to knock us off our feet, how you get up is as important as that you get up. 

In Genesis 32:22-28, Jacob wrestles all night with a mysterious man. When morning came, he had a limp from the battle AND a new identity. Some battles shift the direction of our lives, and they are designed to do that. These battles change us in how we see, process information, and how we walk. The battle of Jacob, and some of our battles demand a different way of moving. 

Imagine the outcome if Jacob had ignored all the lessons he learned in the fight, ignored the new name (and nature) resulting from that battle, and continued to move through life as he had before. That would have been the equivalent of propping up his new identity with the behaviors that served him in the past. 

Look again at the places where you feel week and uncertain. How are you moving through those places -- with the prop of old mindsets, or are you willing to explore moving differently, limp and all? I imagine Jacob had to lean on a stick to keep from falling while he learned to move differently. As you learn to walk and move differently in these times, you may have to rely on a crutch to help you. Remember, though, that a crutch is not a permanent solution; it's meant to only help you temporarily. 

In my work as a coach, I have learned a lot about the mindsets people use to feel safe when they're uncertain. Some of those mindsets or props could include manufactured bravado, bullying, withdrawal, pride, shrinking, hyper-achieving, avoiding or any behaviors that served a need in the past. Consider new ways of support that might include accountability to someone, sharpening your listening skills, intentionally practicing empathy for those you don’t agree with, or adapting a stance of curiosity over judgment. You might even invest in a coach to help support your new way of moving.

The struggle you experienced or may be experiencing now, will expose strength, confidence and competence that you didn’t see before, if you choose support and discipline instead of leaning on artificial props. While you learn to move differently, practice humility and the posture of a learner. You’ll be running faster than you thought possible without the need to be propped up by anything.