Dealing with Holiday Disappointment

Well, the buildup is finished, and Christmas is here. How are you doing? I ask because despite the lights, activities and holiday spirit, 89% of us feel stressed according to the APA. There's apparently something else called "The Holiday Blues" according to Northeastern University that is triggered by the season of celebration between Thanksgiving and New Year.

I said 'apparently' like I don't know about disappointment this time of year; that's not true. I, like anyone who has had their expectations of holiday joy nurtured by media and music, have been overcome by the extreme sadness of what didn't happen during the holidays. People of faith, if their hearts are unguarded, are not immune to sadness during the holidays. The weight of unrealistic, unmet expectations can be a heavy burden, whether it's from not getting the gift(s) you hoped for, to not having the social activities, to the stress surrounding family.

So how do you deal with disappointment during the time specifically between Thanksgiving and New Years? Here are two quick thoughts:

Identify where the disappointment is coming from. This means you must stop and think about what you're thinking about. Now is not the time to run from what's bothering you inwardly; 'sit with yourself' and journal about what's really bothering you. Tell the journal what you have been afraid to admit to yourself or others. Give yourself the gift of honesty with yourself.

Map out a solution. Is the solution for you to take care of yourself emotionally rather than expecting someone(s) else to do it? What might that look like for you? If there is a gift you wanted but didn't get, why does that really make you sad? Was the hope in that gift tied to something else (like the prospect of marriage)? If not, can you buy what you wanted for yourself? How would that feel to you?

As I was writing this today, I had music playing in the background. I was stopped by the worlds of O Holy Night:

O Holy night! The stars are brightly shining

It is the night of our dear Savior's birth

Long lay the world in sin and error pining

'Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees; O hear the Angel voices!

O night divine, O night when Christ was born

O night, O Holy night, O night divine!

Consider the words, "long lay the world in sin and error, pining. Disappointments and the hope of something better is not new; the writer of this song identified "pining", the longing for something, more than 200 years ago. The actual internal longing started way before then. The song goes on to say, 'the weary world rejoices'. God understands your longing for more, and the emotional exhaustion of hope that keeps getting deferred. Today, the real celebration is of

the God who provided a real solution to our disappointments and weariness: Emmanuel literally meaning, "God with us."

You are not alone. The celebration of Christmas is about God recognizing the need in all of us that could only be filled by Him. So, He sent His Son, The Living Word of God, to be with us, and His Spirit to comfort and guide us. Allow the Spirit of God to lead you in discovering what you are really longing for.

Merry Christmas. You are loved. 

Michele